An open letter to people who called ME and others fat

I used to be 75kgs and being called fat or pig used to be something that was said to me on a day to day basis. Friends, family, classmates, you name it, they said it. People who think that only the physical appearance of a person makes them attractive are all the wrong people. They don't know how it feels to hear those words and they don't know the emotional pain and struggle that they're causing the person that they say those words to.

Most of the time, I am thankful that I used to be one of those people being called fat. I still am fat but the difference is, now I've learned to embrace it. I came to a point where I lost more weight and people now began to call me skinny. You can really never please anybody. 

Funny enough, there was this one guy who used to be my schoolmate. We never talked back then. Yeah we would say hi along the corridors but that was it. Years later, he sent me a message telling me that I look better now than back in Uni. I thanked him just to be polite. He didn't stop there though. He told me that I used to look different. (From the way he said it, he meant it in a bad way). I wanted to tell him off right away but I figured, people like these, are not worth my time and energy. 

So to those who called me fat and still calls me fat now..

    

 Sorry. Sorry for I did't look pleasant or good enough for you. Sorry for even if I was fat I was happy because I'm not missing out on good food. Sorry for you thought I had to live my life according to YOUR standards. Sorry for you were born so perfect that you couldn't find any imperfections about yourself and you've decided to take it out on me. Sorry for your words that made me feel like being fat is a crime, and now those words don't affect me anymore. Sorry for I realised that I wasn't the one who was insecure, it was you. Sorry for all those who thought only those who are skinny can be in a relationship. Sorry for you have boxed love into a context based on physical appearance. Sorry for you are lucky enough to be born sexy and I wasn't but even if that's the case, I still wouldn't wish to be you. Lastly, Sorry for I have accepted my flaws as a person and I pity you for all that you've said and I promised myself not to define my self worth based on your words. :)

All I'm praying for is that in the future, God will send me and surround me with people who accepts me just the way I am. Cliche as it may sound. :)

Gotta sleep now or else I'd be all drowsy again tomorrow. Haha! Goodnight loves! xoxo, Gen.

10 things you don't know about me

This is another selfish yet personal post since I tried to ask my previous roomie for a topic to blog about but she wasn't able to give me something to work with so I decided to just come up with something to blog about tonight. Haha! (Hey Heart! Haha :P )

In my last post, I shared the 5 things that are currently making me happy but now I'm going to write a few things that you don't know about me (or only a few people know about me). I know this is a useless boring topic to read but bear with me while I discover something about myself as I type this down. Haha!

I'M QUIET WHEN I'M HUNGRY OR TIRED.
     Don't be upset when you're with me and suddenly you find that things are getting awkward since all of a sudden I'm not talking and I'm not my usual happy self. The thing is, I'm just hungry or tired or both. Haha! 

I HAVE THIS THING FOR SISTEMA TUPPERWARES.
     Haha! Maybe it's part of "adult-ing". These containers are so cute and I have a habit of buying them when they're on sale. :( I should stop ASAP.

PIC'S CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER MADE ME REALISE THAT PEANUT BUTTER IS LOVE.
     I used to hate peanut butter. My mom loves peanut butter and she would often spread it on top of her bread when she eats her breakfast in the morning. Things changed when I tried this brand of peanut butter. OMG (arte!) I can't even. Haha!

CINNAMON MAKES ME SNEEZE.
     I'm not much of a cinnamon fan. I can eat it but too much of it makes me sneeze for some reason! 

THE SIGHT OF BOOKSTORES EXCITE ME.
    I stopped reading books a few months ago. I couldn't finish one book now which sometimes make me feel like I'm not my old self. :( butttt, even if that's the case, I still get excited and happy whenever I see a bookstore. My feet would often drag me to go inside and just "have a look". 

MY HAIR IS PARTLY HAIR PARTLY SPLIT ENDS.
    Not sure if this counts as something that people don't know about me since if you look at my hair you'd automatically see how awful my split ends are!! Had to chop them off recently. Hihi :)

I CAN EASILY PICK UP A TUNE OF A SONG.
     I love music but I'm not into metal or anything rock. This is something that I must've inherited from my papa or mama. :)

I SMILE WHENEVER I SEE A FLOWER. A MOON. A TREE. A RAINBOW. ANYTHING NATURE-ISH.
    It doesn't take much to make me smile. Haha! #imcheaplikethat

NEVER HAVE I EVER...TRIED SMOKING.
    And I do not intended on trying it soon. I just hate the smell of cigarettes. No offense to those who smoke though. 

I USED TO BE HALF CATHOLIC HALF MORMON.
     and now, I'm officially a Christian. :) Sinner but with God's grace I'm trying to let go of the old me and live my life according to His will. I'm not perfect and never will I be. I often sin. :( Christians are not perfect and as long as we worship one GOD who cares about religion!!! :) 
     

Tell me something about you by commenting below! :) 

xoxo, Gennin

5 things that are currently making me happy.

BAPTISM

I'm going to get baptised in the next few days!!! Ahh!! Can't believe this is finally happening and God has finally led me to the right church!

After years of searching, God has finally placed me into the right place. I now know why he brought me here. It's not about the money that I'm going to earn but it's about the relationship that I'm going to build with him. Almost 10 years ago, I received Christ as my Lord an saviour. I would never forget that moment when we were at Rose Memorial and for some reason the presence of the Holy Spirit was calling me to go in front and I knew right then and there that God wants me to come closer to Him.

You see, religion is complicated for me. My mom is a mormon and my dad is a catholic and I'm well.. not sure where I am or what I am. I've been going to any churches and I've lived my life not caring about religion at all but I've always believed that there is something about your relationship with God.

Miracles. Yes, it's not the universe talking. It's God working in and through you. It's amazing when you hear stories of people finding Christ in their lives. Especially those people who never had a religion. People who never knew who Christ is. People who were born in a completely different environment.

I knew that the devil would always get in the way of me getting baptised but always remember, if the the devil can always bombard you with sickness but he can NEVER ever touch your heart and soul if you're focused on GOD. 

So, the first thing on top of list is.. my BAPTISM! :)

Baptism Video

KUMARA FRIES

These past 2 sundays after church, I would go and walk to Burger Fuel to get me some of these kumara goodness! Haha! You know where to find me next Sunday! :P

TIL I MET YOU- Yes, the teleserye of JADINE.

Hay. <3 Haha! Keeps me busy every Monday during my day off!

DATES. 

OMG. I can eat a loooot of these now. I tried making raw date and cashew balls and my boss loved it so yeah. Haha.

NO FACEBOOK. INSTAGRAM AND SNAPCHAT.

I'm on my third week now and I'm still alive! Haha! It can get boring sometimes though but you know what? Makes me realise that if people really miss you and care for you, they'd check up on you the normal way. Through call or text. So far, nobody missed me yet :( Haha! 

GOODNIGHT LOVES! :)