Why did you make her fall?

Disclaimer: I was feeling thought catalog-ish tonight and I got inspired to write because of my friend and this article has nothing to do with my own personal life experience (ish). I know people would always use their "friend" as an excuse to hide their story but I'm not one of those people... or maybe a little bit. :P

She was okay when you met her. She was fine before you even started talking to her.
She knew that a part of her is missing something but when you came, you kind of filled it in.
Days went by and what began as a quick "Hi", became a constant good morning and good night.
She never considered any goodbyes because she had trusted you when you first dropped by.

There are days when she would remind herself. To follow her head, just like what she promised to do in the years ahead. She cannot understand how her heart can at times feel like it's about to melt, she felt so weak because her heart is beginning to win over her head.

You and her spent time together. You'd treat her unlike any other. Her thoughts would wrestle in her head. This seems so surreal, she said. You opened up your life to her, then she did too. She never felt awkward around you, although she said when you looked at her, she didn't know what to do.

Your attention to detail was commendable. She would smile, thinking to herself how can this be? After her past failed relationship, she knew her walls were still there and it was hard for her to be ready. But then, you happened.

One day, I saw her crying again. She was walking along the empty streets. So may questions in her mind, was he just being kind? She shrugged it off saying, 'that couldn't be', because at some point he said 'I love you' to me.


She was unsure again because of this tear that fell in her hand. Her heart was beating for the wrong man. A man who she thought is man enough to, heck, make a stand. 

xoxo, Gennin

3 things you think us "Christians" are doing to you but aren't- Partly My Testimonial

As you all may know, I wasn't born in a family that is "religious" as the human world would name it but in our household, we were always taught by our parents about the love of God and to keep Him the center of our lives at all times. In fact, my dad would always remind us of John 13:34 which is 'Love one another, as I have loved you'. Maybe it was because my brother and I would always fight  and would always want to be "wanna be" WWE players. Hahaha! (Not the point people. Haha!)

Anyways, as I have grown, I've discovered this longing for God when I first got saved at our University. Looking back at it now, I knew it was His will to direct me to a Christian University even thought it was quite far from where I live. I have met friends who have drawn me closer to God and who would remind me of the word when things become difficult.

It saddens me that this world views 'Christians' as perfect people and they isolate themselves because they feel... "weird". What is a Christian anyway? I personally believe (if you would contradict, please feel free to do so and I dare you to comment below. HAHA! Jokes. :P) that once you've received Christ as your personal saviour, you are a Christian and no matter how much the world separates us by labelling us with a "religion", I DO NOT CARE ABOUT ALL THAT SHIZZ.

Going back to my topic. Haha! I get sidetracked so easily people so bear with me.

1. We are NOT in any way forcing you to JOIN anything. We are NOT a part of a CULT.

I used to be one of those people who would decline invitations to bibles studies and anything that has to do with me being vulnerable and being able to open up. I used to be one of those people who would shy away and would feel like when people invite me to 'Christian' gatherings, they would just judge me and convert me into one of them. Let's be real here. We invite you because we want you to be there to experience God's love in a different and more in depth way. We are not there to tell you that you do not have God in your life but to share testimonies and experience God together. I would like to personally apologise to people who have felt that they're being judged but if you focus your attention to something more positive, then maybe, just maybe, it won't be 'one of them' anymore but it will be us joining forces in sharing the love of God.

2.  We are trying to make you follow rules that leads to "perfection".

Whoever said they're perfect better have a really nice bod and 6 pack abs. Hahaha! 
As you develop a passion for Christ, His word will no longer be rules but will be something you would want to do wholeheartedly. He changed my heart through the Holy Spirit and I cannot explain how He was able to do that but God does the unquestionable. P.S. When Miley Cyrus sang "Nobody's perfect", she meant it girlfriend!!! Hahaha. :P

3. The Church is taking your money.

Uh, fact check! God made the Earth and everything in it so technically your money is His but that's not where I'm going to go about now since it's being arrogant. Haha! Tithing is something that was so hard to do for me and still is now because your girl here has to eat (#thatbaboylife) but tell you what, here is my testimony and you make a judgement from here on out.

On my first year of living here, juggling Uni life and work was hard but you need to work part time to live. The cost of living in Auckland is insane people I tell you. I earned so little and enough to live and do extra stuff to keep my sanity. My friend and I were praying for God to supply our needs. I didn't have shifts. I was allowed 20 hours per week but was only given around 10 because it was winter and it was raining and all sorts of stuff. Imagine that and having to pay rent, buy food, you know that ADULTING life. Haha! We were in a Bible study and the topic on tithing was explained. I felt in my heart that drive to tithe. So I did and there was a very little leftover. I said, God you gave me all of these, I am returning what's yours to begin with. A week after (still was winter in case you're wondering), I got an increase on my shift hours!!! It was so overwhelming that I remember sharing this story. If that's not God's work, I don't know what is. Haha!

Will do a separate blog on more testimonials if you would like me to!!
Comment and Share! P.S. This blog was not intended to offend anybody. I don't know why but I was moved to write about this today.

Spread the love. :*

xoxo, Gennin

P.S.SSSSS Photos not related to the blog. Haha! And, this has not been proof read as usual since it's 12am and my brain is working at weird times. #wheninspirationstrikes :P

Depression-You think you know, but you've got no idea.

Has depression ever hit you? Sometimes my thoughts are best typed than spoken. I've been watching this series called 13 reasons why and it's kind of awakening how reality is being portrayed for everyone to see. It's something real. It's something you experience. If you do, admit it. Seek help.

I thank God that I have not been into that situation though at some point, I almost did. It's not something that I can joke around because I know how hard it is to be depressed. For some, it may just  be a passing word that they encounter on a not so normal circumstance. In here, it's part of our reality.

It's not like we didn't want to be where we're at now. It's just that we didn't read the full label before buying into the package. You see, having a visa means having a deadline. The best way I would describe it is, it feels like the doctor is giving me only a few months more to live. 

You know what, behind the smiles of every photo and every instagram story and Facebook story, is a story of every overseas worker. You wanna know the real deal?

We live into this world where people expect us to revolve ourselves around MONEY.

Well hello there, wake up. Your money is fooling you. 

Money is powerful and it's drawing everyone to it.

For me, it's the root cause of everything. Deny it all you want :P

Families on every home country do not realise the struggle of how every worker would manage every penny and wrestle with what they want, what they need and what's more important is what their family back home needs.

I've had a few friends who have talked to me about being depressed. I thank God for this strong wall around me that helps me fight that, every. single. freakin. day. My mom and family and aunts/cousins are just awesome and to my friends who randomly text me to encourage me without even knowing what I'm going through, I know they're all God sent. But what if, I'm only one of those lucky ones?

Depression can and may kill you. Money is not going to be a part of the picture. Your position in your career won't even matter when it hits. It goes deep into your emotions that triggers every single part of your brain. Do you know of someone who lives alone and is far away from you? Have you checked on them lately? Are you a parent who has not established a relationship with your child? Have you considered talking to them for the past few hours? 

Your presence matters. 

A chat matters.

A call matters.

Your prayer matters.

If you're someone suffering from depression and you're reading this, then two things:

If you don't believe in God, trust me on this, He is in you with this. You might reject it in your head, but if you open your heart to believe, the Holy Spirit is going to speak to you directly or through someone. But HE will speak to YOU. Have the courage to set aside what society thinks about Jesus and have the strength to surrender it to Him. What you're going through is a reminder of His existence and His existence is the ONLY way to help you through this situation or moment in your life wherein things look.. dark. Why am I so sure? E-mail me and we'll talk.

If you do believe in God, this is a time to witness Him work in your life. Confess that He is above your situation and all your emotions. Believe in His ability to bring clarity to all your questions. You are in a place where He has planted you. Have faith in His healing. Have faith in His breakthrough. 

Goodnight loves! E-mail me if you want to talk. :) God bless! Cheers since it's almost the weekend! :P

xoxo, Gennin

P.S. Haven't proof read (I know, AGAIN) this so you're in for a serious blog of grammatical errors. Forgive me, it's 11:45pm. :P 

Do you know where you're going to? Do you like the things that life is showing you?

This is my third blog draft and if I don't get to publish this, I am heading home right this instant. Haha! I wrote a totally sad blog which I didn't finish but to tell you briefly about it, I was planning on writing a short story. (Would you be interested to read it? Let me know!) Sometimes, it's time for you to really pursue what you're passionate to do. Most of the time, when the knowledge disappears, it's passion that's whats keeping us going.

Lately, I have been having dilemmas about my life and I won't share it here because if you really want to know you'll message me to find out. :P

Have you ever felt lost and you're in that moment of your life that you feel like it's not the perfect time to be lost because the clock is ticking and you yourself are aging?

Well, well, well....

I am writing this to inspire someone today. I may not have a lot of blog readers but if you are one and you would like to continue to be one, thank you. <3 Just like what my little cousin would often say, "You make my heart super happy." Hihi.

Writing is something that I wanted to take up subjects in when I was still in Uni (but never got to). I may not be the best but I believe that in the heart and sincerity of what you write, people would learn more about the inner you and as you write, you will be surprised on how deep your inner self can get. Another thing that you might not know is that I was awarded Best in Computer at some point in my high school life. Haha! It was a time when we were developing websites and doing marquees and all that. It took one teacher that I really look up to, to believe in me. Since then, I also had this drive to study I.T. but people kept telling me that it's complicated and it's not what I'm good at you already know what those nega trolls are saying. Haha! :P

You might think that I couldn't make up my mind and that's the reason why I'm quite lost right now. If you're going to ask me, that's not personally true to me. Yes, as girls we can be fickle as to what we really want but if you let your heart do the talking, you would already know the answer.

In this challenge that I have now, I am so overwhelmed of how God is still hanging on to me. I was in the verge of letting go and giving it all up when God reminded me today (at a seminar, I know, I was supposed to be listening. haha! Don't worry, I was but my attention span lasts for only 15mins. The breaks were helpful. :P), anyway, God reminded me that I was not alone. He literally had to put that on a Powerpoint presentation just so I'd remember. Haha!

God knows what my thoughts are on a day to day basis and though my face on Facebook and Instagram looks happy, there are a lot of mixed emotions going on inside of me that I cannot confide to anyone else but Him. I had to take this time off after the seminar and head on to the library because I needed the time to think and clear my head and just take in His goodness. 

So, can I encourage you today before I end this, wherever you are in this stage of your life, to:

• Begin with a prayer of praise.
• Present your dilemma.
• Cry if you need to.
• and then let it go.

Through it all, Believe. Believe that while you're waiting to learn something new or while you're waiting for something, someone or whatever it is that you are waiting on, you are going through a process of being good and better on the outside because there is something supernatural that's working within you that is unexplainable. You don't need to justify God to other people. Let your life and experience speak. If you fear that you'll end up disappointed or people would look down on you if you do, then you don't yet fully realise the capacity of what God can do to your life in a span of even a split second. "Have faith" is a cliche statement but mind you, if you do, you'll do great things. <3

Alright, I need to go now or else I'll freeze in the cold. :P Bye! 

xoxo, Gennin

3 things that you should never compromise when finding a partner

My friend inspired me to write this post tonight (aside from me being wide awake) since a few days ago she asked me to pray for her since she has a dilemma about love. Yes, I know that it's hilarious that she's asking me of all people about this but oh well. Haha!! Deal with it guys. Haha. :P

I don't know about you but I feel like it's important to find the right person rather than settling for who's available. The society that we are in right now are pressuring us to engage in something that is going to greatly affect our future and I don't think we should just give in just because the society said so. I'm  glad that I am currently staying in a country that doesn't view age as as strong influence when it comes to love and relationships but for those who live in my home country, that is something serious when you reach the age of 25.

Does age really matter? Yes? No? Insert Poll. Haha. I have thought about these 3 things and personally this is something that I think you should never compromise just because you feel kilig and you feel like it's time for you to get a partner or you're in an age that it might be hard for you to find that person anymore. I know some might disagree (Hopefully, y'all will agree but.. haha!) but I hope that this is going to be fun and interactive so comment below if if you have something to add! 

1.  Your Values.

The dating stage is the best time to know the person's values. You should never compromise it because in the beginning of the relationship it might feel okay and you might be able to still endure the difference but if you're going to commit to that person for the rest of your life, raising your kids and the decisions that you will be making will still be rooted on the values that you both have as individuals. #sodeep Did you get that? HAHAHA.

2. Your personality.

It's our human tendency (wow) to adjust to the people that we spend time with and share our energy with. There are times when we do not notice but when we start to fall in love and when we start to want to please that person, sometimes we lose ourselves in the process. The way you are with your friends is sometimes different with the way you are with that person you're dating. I feel like transparency is important and the way I view it is that it's either you love me for who I am, flaws and all or go away. Haha! 

3. Your BELIEF.

I didn't say religion because that's not something that I believe in. I know it's hard when you're beginning to like someone and you couldn't agree on that area. My advice? Distance yourself from the beginning. Talk about it from the start. Ask and make it an intention to get an answer from that person you're dating. I can hear my friends yelling at me in my head while typing this. Haha! 

Yes, it's hard especially when you're attracted and that person is consistent (Because consistency is key to... prosperity? haha joke :P) but always remember, when getting into a relationship you're also thinking about a future with that person. If you believe in a God who loves you and a holy spirit that guides you and he or she believes in something else.. would it not affect the foundation of your relationship? I strongly believe that if Jesus is the center of your relationship, whatever it is that you're going to encounter in the future, whatever disagreements you may have, if you go back to that one thing that you both believe in, you will see restoration and will always end up in reconciliation. Amen? Amen. :)

It's 1am now and my brain stopped working 5 mins ago so I better end this or tomorrow I'd be a walking dead person again. Haha! If you have something to add or do not agree in anything that I've said, keep it to yourself!! Blog ko to e. Haha! Kidding! Feel free to disagree with me and comment below! :) Love you guys!

xoxo, Gennin

***This hasn't been proof read and I'm sleepy now so excuse the grammar. :P

11 things most people living abroad can relate to (11 because why not)

Wala lang. I am in the mood to write today so why not put my thoughts into a blogpost.  Haha! It's been more than 2 years and to be honest, these past few years have taught me a lot about life and myself and I reckon it made me a better version my myself. Kung si Sarah Geronimo pa, Lyda Magdalas version 2.0. Haha! 

Anyway, while I was contemplating on whether or not I will do the laundry today since it's going to rain tomorrow, I've managed to come up with 11 things that I feel like most overseas workers's can relate to. Share this if you like it and you're working abroad! Cheers!

1. When you feel like laundry, cooking and cleaning all happens at the same time and even if you're tired you still have to do it or else, eww dirty undies. #superwoman/man

2. Weather report is life but knowing what to wear or end up dying in the cold is life-er. #yahooweather 

3. Your laptop is your best friend after a long as day. Netflix or that one site you go to that shows HD copies of the newest movies. Haha!

4. When it's your first few days in that new country and you start converting everything and you feel like you're a walking calculator but in the end you've decided to stop because sometimes you feel like you'd rather go hungry and starve to death than eat that bread which costs $5 which is sometimes 2-3 times the price in your home country! #overpriced haha! #loveyourself

5. When you juggle two to three jobs just because there are people relying on you and you're relying on yourself too.

6. That feeling of excitement having to FaceTime/Skype your family and having to speak your own language again. Ahhh. #nosebleed

7.  Buying that one thing you've been saving up for or travelling to a new place you've never been to before but sometimes feeling guilty since even if you have finally achieved what you've been wanting but your family is not there to share the happiness with you. #familyfirst

8. When people back home thinks everything is okay since they see you smiling on photos but after that moment of joy you still end up alone in your room without anyone to talk to. #depressionisreal

9. When you try to learn Hi or hello or how are you in different languages, just because. #nihaoma 

10. When you spend your birthday alone, Christmas alone, etc etc but feeling okay with it as the time goes by because #sanayanlangyan in English, #you'llgetusedtoit #nosebleedtake2

11. When you realise that in everything, God performs miracles to and through you wherever you are in the world. :)


Comment below if you have something to add! :)

xoxo, Gennin

5 things I'm praying for in 2018

Can you believe it? I'm turning a year old again! Haha! 2017 was one heck of a year! The challenges just kept on coming and my faith was tested so may times last year and I'm so happy to have a new start this 2018!! I really feel like this year is going to be one of the best years yet. Okay, fine. I don't feel it but I'm claiming it to be!! Not just for me of course but also for you who is reading this!

I'll give you one good reason why this year is going to be the best year, yet. The color of the year is Purple and it's my favourite color and I don't really know how that relates to each other but still!!! Haha! :)

Anyway, for my claims to become a reality, it would require a lot of faith and prayer and let me start with the first thing I'm praying for this year:

A DEEPER relationship with God.

     I don't know what it is that I'm still looking for but I feel a lack that is unexplainable when it comes to my relationship with Jesus. I know I have a relationship with Him but I felt like before the start of this year God was trying to speak to me by telling me to read His word and get to know Him deeper. I began a few months back but never really got into reading the whole Bible (because I get easily distracted. haha!) but I'm going to intentionally make it my priority this year! 

My Visa renewal.

    My visa won't expire until next year but I plan on renewing it this year so that I can go home in December to spend Christmas and New Years with my family and I'm really going to pray hard on this one! Pray with me? :)

More travels, hikes and roadtrips.

     You know people think that if you travel you have lots of money and you have to earn a lot in order to do so. One thing I've learned from the Kiwi's is that travelling need not be expensive. Kiwis are very practical people and their joy comes in the simplest of things. The good thing about this country is that they do not charge anything - as in zero - when you go to their awesome beaches and parks. It's also best to pack your food since you'll never know if there's going to be a dairy nearby and it saves you money too! In 2017, I got the opportunity to travel with friends and I will always thank God for spontaneous trips! <3 

To go to Hillsong Church.

       This is a bit impossible for me at the moment since the trip to Aussie would cost me more than $2k but still claiming it. Haha! :P

My future partner.

      To everyone who has been telling me to open up my heart and get to know people and to trust again, and not push people away, I hope you're happy that I've included this on my list this year. Haha! Also, I hope you'll all stop bugging me about this because this is not something that you force to happen but it's something that comes in God's perfect timing!!

      To be honest, the pressure was so strong when I was back home but here in New Zealand it's different e. (O.A. Haha!)  I have this mentality that I feel like Beyonce when she said all the women who are independent throw your hands up at me. Haha! Yeah, it would be nice to have someone but nah if it's the wrong one. So again, chill lang kayo friends. Haha! :P

Alright so that wraps up my list! There are others that I didn't include cuz it's going to be a long as blog if I'm going to do so. Haha! If there's something that you would like me to pray with you about just send me a text or an e-mail and hopefully I'd get to read it and not forget to reply because I have a habit of reading messages and forgetting to reply to them! Haha! Kidding! Seriously tho, text me. :)

xoxo, Gennin